Monday, September 21, 2009
OK - this is a big one for me. I could use some feedback on this. And you don't need to be a parent to comment either!
This blog is about surrendering to the disappointment of a "no" answer or following through until you get a "yes" or at the very least, get a "no" from the top dog.
As a mother, I want what's best for my kids. Who doesn't right? I want them to go after what they want; fearless of rejection or judgement. Let me give you a specific example of something that happened today - bear with me here while I explain the scenario.
I start teaching yoga classes today at my daughters' school which is very exciting...for my older daughter. I teach to the elementary kids - not the preschoolers. My little one is a preschooler. So of course, my little one is very disappointed, very angry and very upset. She is crying and pouting, has her arms crossed across her chest and her eyes are all red - I am even sad for her.
On one hand, I could say, "Hey kid, this is the way that it is. There's nothing I can do" and on the other hand, I could try and figure out how to "beat the system." Then a thought comes to me. Why can't she help me in one of the classrooms? It would be just for today and maybe next week. Not a huge deal, at least not to me.
So I ask her teacher, the teacher in the other classroom, and the principal of the school, who obviously has the last word. She adamantly says no.
At this point, I don't question. I am sure she has reasons that I don't understand right now. So I tell Ava, "That's it babe. We went to the one in charge and she said no. That is the final decision - let's respect the rules."
Of course now she is really, really upset. Crying hard and loud as I leave her off. I can hear her as I leave and my heart seriously breaks.
So my question is this....did I go too far? Should I have just not even asked? Should I have just said, "That's the rule kid, tough break?" She was crying either way. Or can I teach my kids to ask for what they want and don't take no for an answer unless you went to the one in charge? How far do you go, even if you think it's above and beyond what other people want or expect? Is it ok to act "special" in order to get what you want in life?
I think so but maybe I'm arrogant. Or maybe I just think I'm special. But why don't we ask for what we want? Why do we take that first "no" as an answer? Michael Beckwith says that when you hear that first "no" you should start singing...."La la la la....." over the voices and continue on your merry way.
Hmmmm.... as I write this, I now know I found the answer for me. However, I would LOVE to hear what you have to say about this. As a parent or not! How do YOU handle the "nos" in life? Who do you allow to make or break what you want?
Great question for Monday morning eh?