Conformity

We went to Cannon Beach last weekend, just for the day - the girls, me and my husband. What a goregous place. Reminded me a lot of Del Mar, California where my husband and I met about 13 years ago.

On our way home, my husband and I were talking about how we would really like to move back to the beach someday. We were discussing how much we really miss that lifestyle. Isabella pipes up from the back seat, "So if you liked living at the beach so much, how come you moved?" Ouch...reality....right in the kisser.

Why did we move anyway? Let me be clear... we both know and understand that all choices made in our life leads us to the road we are meant to follow. Do we regret moving up here from sunny San Diego? Not even for a second. In the 6 years we have lived here we have made more friends, shared more stories and lived more than we could have ever imagined. But the question asked by this little angel deserved an answer. Honestly I didn't know what to say.

So I politely told her that we really wanted to see what it was like to live in the Pacific NW. We had lived at the beach for so long we wanted to see what it would be like to live where there were four seasons, a snowy Christmas and mountains visible from every window of our house. That seemed to appease her curiosity but the question still rang in my head. Why did we move up here? I LOVE San Diego!

My husband and I have always been ... non traditionalists. We were living the "life" back in San Diego. We had an 800 square foot apartment, garage sale furniture, 4 blocks from the beach, no debt and a lifestyle that allowed us to travel every year to exotic places. Then we had Isabella and it all changed for some odd reason.

We were under the impression that since we had a baby we had to act all grown up and be super responsible.... what does that mean anyway? To us, at the time it meant, buying a newer, more reliable car, buying a house, contributing to a retirement plan, getting a "real" job, moving near family, finding affordable housing. None of those things sounded like me but I went along for the ride.

So now, here we are, 6 years later, yearning for that simple life again. A life that allows us time and freedom and space to roam around without so much "grown up" responsibility to carry on our shoulders.

Am I saying that we should live a hippie lifestyle? No, not necessarily - although it does depend on how you define "hippie". I am suggesting however, that we can reevaluate what's important and make decisions from there. When you get close to losing every material possession you "own" you realize you really don't "own" anything and nothing is important but the time you spend with each other. Nothing ever matters but the quality of life you are living.

It doesn't matter if you rent or own. In the end, nothing belongs to you anyway. What matters is if you are happy where you are. Can you make it through with joy and gratitude even if you aren't in the "perfect" environment? Do you see the beauty in each day as it is presented and ask for more? That's what matters.

So we spend a glorious day at the beach. Racing down hill, swimming in the ocean, making sand castles, eating ice cream really fast and digging for China at the beach. In the past I may have said, "Oh man, I wish we could live here". Now I say, "How much fun is this?"

I admit I conformed to what I thought I "should" be doing when we moved up here. I know that one day we will once again live at the beach. I realize, most importantly that each decision I have made brought me here. That even though I conformed to what society would define as "best for me" - I now know that I have the gifts within me to make the choices that work for me - regardless of what society says. But I would have never known it had I not gone down this road.

Following your heart may not always mean that people will understand you, let alone follow you. But in the end, whatever decision you make, make it from your heart. Let it speak the loudest. And know that whatever decision you do make, leads you to a road that opens you up to being who your were born to be.

The Little Things in Life

I have to say that I have always thought that I had this higher purpose. That being a stay at home mom was just not enough for me. I have always needed more for some odd reason. Now, before you go gasping and getting all huffy let me explain.

Since I have been home this summer I have realized that I am no where near ready to stay home all day with these little people. I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART but I do believe they need more than me in their face all day.

But I have to say that nothing in all my years of corporate executive positions, traveling the globe, entrepreneurship and teaching yoga...nothing made me feel more like I was part of a Higher Purpose than this experience we had the other day.

My girls and I are sitting in the family room hanging out. I hear this huge rustling in the trees in our backyard. I look outside and see the branches from our tree just falling onto the lawn. I have no idea what is happening but I hear chirping so I head outside, mini-Me's following me in awe of course.

I get about a foot away from the fallen branches and see a mother squirrel grabbing it's fallen baby by the back and then watch her scurry behind the tree to a secret location of safety. I can't believe it! A baby squirrel has fallen from our tree! Then I notice the second baby, not so lucky, still under some branches, pulling itself out so it can be seen by someone who will hopefully save it. Now these baby's eyes aren't even open yet. I am in tears, immediately identifying with this mother squirrel. Oh my how sad she must be that her babies have fallen out of their nest. My girls are watching me intently and I am seriously overwhelmed with the feeling of true Oneness.

So I first grab one of our cats and tell my oldest daughter to put her in the garage. I then go into the house and call the vet. They tell me to nail a box to the tree, pick up the baby squirrel and put it in the box so the mother can come and get it. And I am thinking, really? I'm supposed to pick up this baby squirrel? Won't the mother eat it if is smells my scent on the baby?

Meanwhile, I notice my other cat running after the mother who has come for the other baby. I am yelling at my cat (yes yelling) to stop .... poor kitty. It's her natural instinct after all. So we get the other cat in the house and I find a box. My girls are awesome. They are chanting, "Go mommy. " And "Hip Hip Hooray for Mommy!" from the upstairs bedroom. They want to get that aerial view.

So I nail a box to the tree and I look down at this baby squirrel. Time seriously stops. We are One in that moment. I comfort the baby and pick it up. It's no bigger than my cell phone (NOT an iPhone, an old fashioned cell phone) and I can't believe how gorgeous it is. It is chirping as I pick it up - scared and hungry. I gently place it in the box and put a few branches in it. I can't believe this.

Within an hour the mother comes to rescue her baby and the girls and I have a Popsicle, celebrating the fact that we made a huge difference today in our own little backyard.

Nothing in corporate America can touch that. Not one thing.

Facing Our Fears

Is anyone else completely terrified of Ferris Wheels?

This past weekend we went to the Clark County Fair. Honestly, the fair really isn't my favorite place to be but I always have fun watching the girls in amazement.

Ava - my little daredevil - really wanted me to go on the Ferris Wheel with her. I didn't want to tell her I was afraid....I couldn't do that. So I agreed. OMG! I was terrified to get on that thing with her. Where that fear came from I am not quite sure but I was seriously afraid.

So we get on and she is totally excited! I can't get her to stop leaning forward - she was making the seat we were in rock and it was freaking me out! The wheel was moving because other people were getting on and I seriously wanted to get out.

She kept laughing and looking down and then looking at me. I was so happy to have my sunglasses on so she couldn't see my face. She is so intuitive; she would have seen right through me. So we are going around and around and I am wondering when this thing is going to stop!

I was trying to enjoy it and experience it through her eyes, really I was, but it was difficult! I didn't realize I had my arm around her so tight until she said, "Mommy, please! Get your arm off me!" Poor girl!

And of course, you know, at the end of our ride, we were stuck at the very top while everyone else was offered the opporutnity to get off. How does that happen? So we wait and all I can hear myself saying is, "Lean back Ava." I didn't look down once.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, we get our chance to exit the ride. My husband is like, "Great job you guys! How awesome was that!?" I feel like I am going to throw up but everyone else is so happy and excited.

I enjoy their excitment and realize that once again, one of my little angels helped me to grow and face a fear.

Thanks Ava!

Face Time

When I first closed the studio and was offered the opportunity to spend every day at home with my girls, I was so thrilled! So thrilled in fact that I actually entertained the idea of home-schooling them. For those of you who know me, you know this could have turned into quite a challenge for me but you also know, I am always up for a challenge!

Now 8 weeks into summer vacation I know, at this point in my life, I am not ready to home-school. Not even close. But I have learned many, many valuable lessons while being at home and I am grateful beyond words that I was given this opportunity.

I always go back to the reality that my daughters were born to teach me something. I am only here as their guide - they are my lesson and as soon as I accepted that, it made life very easy. In fact, my new mantra is "What quality can I birth during this challening situation?" Every single day I am offered the opportunity to birth more and more qualities that move me more toward the mom I really want to be. Too many times to count actually.

Patience has been a big one that keeps carrying over week after week after week....

Anyway, sometimes I get it and sometimes I fall right back into my old patterns and behaviors. But the Universe is there reminding me .... next time you'll get it... not to worry. I will keep giving you chances to get it right!

A valuable lesson I have learned is how taking the time each day really helps. I was talking to a friend of mine and she mentioned that she read that the "appropriate time" we should be spending with our kids each day is something like 15 minutes, twice a day. Both of us laughed and agreed that was crazy. That was nothing!

So I decided to really look at what I was doing to spend quality time with the girls. Not just letting them play on their own, or going to the park and watching them run around or even watching movies together. I'm talking real, quality, face-to-face time.

It's amazing what a shift it makes in our day.

That's all they want. Our face - listening to them intently without distraction. But isn't that what we all want? To be heard?

So we swim and have dive races. We paint, we take turns reading, we play tic-tac-toe and hangman. And I am doing these things before I sit and do my writing or my reading or my phone calls. I sit and spend 15-30 minutes doing something with them several times a day and it works!

Maybe I'm the only mom out there that didn't get this. Maybe I'm the only one who was trying to get some "alone time" before I gave them "face time". But for those of you who are in the same boat as me, wanting some alone time .... give them face time first. It works every time and the love, respect and admiration that is created for everyone in this situation really is incredible.

Have a great day!